Saturday, August 24, 2019

Racism - What it it?

In recent months, it seems everyone is using the words "racism" or "racist". So much so, those words no longer have any real meaning. Racism is having "colored" and "white" drinking fountains, it is having "colored" and "white" restrooms, it is having one school for the "coloreds" and another school for the whites. Racism is having one small section of a movie theater on the second story and a separate entrance for the "coloreds". Racism is making the "coloreds" sit in the back of a bus. Racism is refusing to serve "people of color" at all! Racism is making a person of color wait in line until every white person in that line has been served.

Do we see that kind of racism today? No, we don't. When I hear accusations of racism, that is what I think about, not some sound bite taken out of context. Today, when a person doesn't like another person's opinion, instead of having a discussion, that person calls the other names like "racist", "homophobe", "xenophobe", "white supremacist" (even if that person is black!).

What happened to peaceful arguments and discussions? What happened to critical thinking? Instead of providing facts to support one's position, we get "offended" and we feel "threatened" and "unsafe". We resort to name-calling. That is most ridiculous line of thinking I have ever seen in my life!

First, facts have no feelings. They are simply facts. If you try hard enough, you can find "facts" to support your position instead of ending the conversation with name-calling. Second, feelings are NOT facts! My feelings change like lightening -- most of us are the same way. One minute I might be feeling happy because my cats are getting along and then the next minute, I am upset because one of the cats has turned over the trash and scattered paper all over. (Sorry to use the cat analogy) Feelings change with our circumstances and so often they are not based on any facts at all. It is just how we feel at the moment.

When did we become so afraid to have honest debate rather than angry name-calling sessions? I don't like the fact that I feel like I walk on egg shells around people who don't share my political view points and I am talking about my own family and some friends! I have decided to educate myself about the facts now rather then being fearful of getting into an argument or having a family member or friend decide I am racist, homophobic, xenophobic, misogynist, etc. I am none of those things but in order to stand for things I believe in, I better have some facts on hand rather than succumbing to name-calling myself!

It is just too easy to react with name-calling these days. It's like it has become the meme of the day or something. I have written here before that we choose to be offended. It is more true now than when I first wrote that. Being "offended" is once again a "feeling". We can choose to give others the benefit of doubt that their viewpoint is not intended to "hurt" our feelings. It is simply their opinion, their viewpoint. It has nothing to do with me unless I choose to make it so. For example, if someone cuts me off changing lanes on the street, does that person intentionally do that to hurt me personally? Of course not! That person is in a hurry, not paying attention to me at all. It has to do with them not me. I can choose to get all upset and angry, yell and use vulgar hand signs, right? But again, what good does that do except get me all upset and stressed out.

The point is we choose how we feel. However, the facts don't change. If I see a news item that purports that a politician said something racist or any of the other "ists" things, I take the time to find the facts rather than get all upset and self-righteously angry. Facts are not feelings and just because we call each other names does not make those names so.

Let's have meaningful debates and conversations. Let's not be so "sensitive" that we can't talk to one another. Let's stop using the accusations of being a racist, white supremacist, homophobic, xenophobic, et al. as a way to stop meaningful debates and conversations. I am in, are you?

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

I am a victim too!

It seems like the thing to be these days is a victim. Aren't we all victims in some way or for some reason? Think about that for a minute. Some of us believe we are victims because of the color of our skin, or the God we worship, or the gender we are or our ethnicity, etc. So I will jump on the bandwagon too -- I am a victim. How, you ask?

First of all, I am a woman. Supposedly, that makes me a second-class citizen. I am told that women have a hard time breaking through the "glass ceiling" simply because I am a woman. I have personally not experienced that but according to the "experts", I just didn't know it or was in denial. I worked as a legal assistant/administrative assistant in Family Law for 20+ plus years. To be honest, I wasn't looking to advance beyond that because I loved what I did. True, after a while, Family Law can get to be depressing, frustrating and sometimes sad. I believe it takes a special "call" to work in Family Law not only as a legal assistant but as an attorney. I even owned my own business helping people complete their own divorces (30 years ago). There are a lot of people who simply don't have the money to hire an attorney and/or their divorce is pretty straight-forward. No fights over the kids or who gets what. They pretty much have all things agreed. I helped people through the maze of paperwork and there is a lot of paperwork. As time went on, the laws became even more complicated and I wasn't doing anyone any favors helping them due to those complications. So I retired.

Second, I am white. You say that isn't a "victim" category? I beg to differ. Any more, those of us who are white are becoming the minority and we should be a protected class. I certainly did not have any "white privilege" and I don't see that among the white people I know either. In fact, the ways that whites are discriminated against are staggering. If you are white, you are automatically not first choice when going to college, getting a job, getting the best education. Other ethnic groups or races get first choice especially in big corporations, schools, etc. I say that now is the time for whites to be a protected class so we not further marginalized!

Third, part of my heritage, my ethnicity is that I have Jewish blood in me. My maternal great-grandparents were Jewish so that makes me one-quarter Jewish. If I had been born in Nazi Germany, I would have been taken to the death camps. Today, with rise of Antisemitism, I am a victim there too. Who knows what this new rise will mean to me in the future? I can only ask for God's protection in that event.

Fourth, I am a born-again Christian. This is the biggie. The bias against Christians is so rampant that I fear it will only get worse. Plus, according to the Bible, it's guaranteed to get worse. So I think we Christians should be a protected class now rather than later. We have to be careful what we say not only in social media but among friends and family. The only way we will be able to function in society is to be a protected class.

So, on at least four levels, I am a victim. Now my question is: do I get any special privileges? It seems that victims are felt sorry for, pampered. Can I look forward to being protected for any of the above?

The truth is that I don't feel like a victim. I have a good life. I have a wonderful husband, two great adult kids, 4 wonderful grandchildren. I am not rich but our needs are met, sometimes miraculously. Why is it so great to be a victim anyway? Does it help in any way? I'd like the answer to that because being a victim seems to the "cause of the day".

Friday, May 24, 2019

New Positive Note

I wanted to share that I am blessed. Yes, I have often written about political issues and our negative culture but, for a change, I want to share how good God has been to me. I have a wonderful husband. He is a gift from God. That is a long story that I won't go into right now but he is an answer to prayer. I think he knows that. He is easy-going, even when he doesn't feel good. He is steady. I can count on his steady mood. He isn't moody at all. He is not short-tempered. It takes a lot to make him angry. That is such a blessing!

I have two wonderful adult children. They know me. They know how I could be moody, short-tempered, unstable sometimes. They know me but still love me. They have also blessed me with four wonderful grandchildren. Of course, every grandma says their grandchildren are the best and I am not an exception. 😉 Three of them are now adults according to the law (over 18). The other is 16. They love me too and I am so proud of all four of them. They are growing into responsible adults, have goals, going somewhere in life!

I have not written much about myself on this blog but I do want you to have a glimpse of me. Besides being a mother, grandmother, wife, I am a woman nearly 75 years old and have seen a lot over the years. I have been negative in the past, but because of my relationship with Jesus Christ, getting to know Him and His Father, God, and the Holy Spirit, I am much more positive. Studying the Word of God, the Bible, has been crucial in my growth to be a positive person.

Why is that important to me? I am happier and healthier and I think it's because I tend to be positive, and have faith that things will work out for my good. In our society today, I see so much hate, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. All of those negative emotions are so hard on one's body and mind. They will shorten lives but, more importantly, these emotions will cause our journey through this life to be miserable as well as unhealthy. Yes, things need to change in the political spectrum. Yes, there are some who are being unfairly. All of these things we see are not good but I believe that holding on to negative emotions doesn't solve any of it! All it does is make US sick and miserable.

If you have a relationship with God, pray. If not, then think positive thoughts. Cast away hate and unforgiveness. Look at nature -- the flowers, the birds, the trees, all of the magnificent natural beauty. None of that has changed over the centuries. We still see blue skies and puffy white clouds just as Abraham in the Bible did. God is constant and He holds the universe in His capable hands. Worrying about things we have no control over will just rob us of all the blessings we have around us. I know that some reading this will think I don't have a realistic view on life. I beg to differ! It is much easier to count my blessings than to worry about things and people that I can't control. Be blessed!

Friday, May 10, 2019

The Blob

With the new movie, Unplanned, having been shown and now is gone (at least it is here), there has been much more attention to the abortion issue. Those who are "pro-choice" insist that in an early pregnancy, it is simple "tissue" and not a life. They say it is just a "blob". However, at 8 weeks, the fetus (boy, I hate that word!), has a heart, a developing brain and looks quite a bit like a baby.
Obviously, this is an artist's rendition and not entirely accurate but, according to Kidspot, the fetus (or baby) is "becoming recognisably human", arms and legs are getting longer as you can see above. The baby already has a beating heart although not as we think of a heart. I read where early on (say 4 weeks) the heart consists of two chambers rather than the four we normally think of. However, this tiny heart is beating at 5 weeks. Did you read that five; The sad thing here is that abortion advocates don't tell the woman any of these facts and they are opposed to a pregnant woman seeing an ultrasound. It is all too real seeing the ultrasound. Many women opt not to have an abortion upon seeing their ultrasound. This is as it should be.

Long ago, in biblical times, the Israelites were heading to their Promised Land. Before they crossed the Jordan River, God commanded them to completely wipe out the people living in Jericho. These were the Canaanites. Why did God command this? Because they worshiped a false god who they believed demanded they sacrifice their newborn infants (passing through the fire). God takes new life seriously and what these people did was an abomination to Him.

Okay, so maybe you don't believe in the Bible or in God. I get that too. Although I am a believer, not everyone is. However, no matter if you believe in God or not, upon conception, that "blob" IS a baby! How can we justify this murder? Here are some reasons:

1.  It is inconvenient -- the woman is still in school, unmarried without any means of support, in the middle of a career, etc.

2.  Fear -- fear of judgment by others if the pregnancy is outside of marriage (this doesn't happen so much any more), fear of losing a job or a scholarship, fear of losing the relationship, etc.

Abortion has been around since the days of Adam. I know that. I also know that prior to Roe v Wade, abortions were done in secret by some people who believed they were helping a woman out. Some abortionists were doctors who risked their medical license. Some were mid-wives and some were just regular people. Yes, there were terrible consequences sometimes. It affected me personally. My maternal grandmother died as a result of an abortion when my mother was only 15. So, yes, the circumstances were not always the best. There were perforated uteruses which caused bleeding and many times, death. There were infections due to non-sterile instruments.

However, that happens in abortion clinics today, too. The movie Unplanned has a scene where the doctor perforated a young woman's uterus and the woman almost died. She was really just a teenager - not a woman the way we think. Her father brought her in "to get rid of it". There have been news stories over the years where some abortion clinics were found to have non-sterile conditions and instruments. Abortion clinics try to keep this information out of the public awareness but it does happen. If a woman has an unexpected turn for the worse, the clinics do their best to NOT get that woman to a hospital for treatment. Sadly, some of these instances have resulted in death.

What amazes me is that having an abortion is really major surgery! Instead of having a cot or bed to rest on after the procedure, these women sit in chairs. This is what I saw in the movie and I can't verify that all clinics do this. After a couple of hours (I don't know the exact amount of time - just a guess here), they are sent home. There is no follow-up or post-surgical care. It's like they get a tooth pulled or something! That is frightening to me. What happens if they start bleeding at home? Is there any care available to them?

The last thing that troubles me is the psychological impact that an abortion has on a woman. Sure, the radical left "celebrates" having an abortion but in reality, on an individual basis, does any woman really celebrate killing an unborn child? At some point in time, that regret, that guilt comes. The woman who has had an abortion feels shame too. Who do they turn to? If they feel guilty and don't want anyone to know they had an abortion, they feel so isolated. Fortunately, there are websites today that are there for that woman. For example, Post Abortion Healing and Help offers no-judgment help. It isn't political or religious - they just offer a safe place to "talk" with others who have been through an abortion. I spent a few minutes there and was very impressed with this site. I am sure there are others -- some that are religious and/or political. The important thing is that there are places to get some psychological help. I know seeing a counselor is available too but that costs money which may be a barrier for getting help.

I feel so sad that we are killing unborn children. I believe in God and I know it breaks His heart too. My prayer is that some day, in my lifetime, abortion will be a thing of the past in our nation; that if a woman gets pregnant, she will either raise the child or place the baby for adoption. There are many couples out there who so want a child and can't have one. Why do we not offer these unplanned babies to them? I pray we do.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018


Did that get your attention? 😊 There is so much in the news and in our conversations about sex, gender, who you have sex with or don't have sex with. My grandmother was shocked back in the 60's when Jane Russell started advertising Playtex bras. I would imagine she is spinning in her grave at what is advertised today! In the 70's, it was a big deal when a toilet flushed! A ground-breaking event.

Now, today, even our kindergarten children are forced to try to figure out what to call their classmates. In a charter school in Rocklin, California, a student was re-introduced after recess as a different gender. One child was sent to the "office" because she slipped and called "her" "him". Honestly, what are we expecting from 5 year-old children today? Why was this done in the first place?

Why is society (or whoever it is) calling so much attention to less than 1%  of our population anyway? I had the privilege of calling two different "trans-gendered" individuals my friends. The first one ended up regretting the decision and had another major surgery to go back to his biological sex. For many years, he lived life as a woman and was even featured on HBO in the 80's for his radical (back then, it was extremely rare) change. This individual was one of the kindest persons I had ever met and I ached for her when she became so unhappy with her decision. It was a spiritual, emotional as well as physical decision she made. Her significant other who was married to him when he was a man (original sex) had to divorce him because, as you know, same-sex marriage was illegal in the 80's. But, as far as she was concerned, she loved the person he/she was and she was her best friend. (confused, yet? sorry). So they stayed together until the significant other died.

The second person I called my friend completely floored me when she told me she had been born male. There was nothing masculine about her - not her mannerisms, her voice, nothing! She was a lot of fun and a very compassionate person. As far as I know, she is still living her life as a female. She didn't tell me why she felt as if she was "really" a female in a male body. I didn't ask because I figured if she wanted me to know, she'd tell me.

I relate these two stories to express that I am not a "hater" or a "transphobe". What I am concerned about is a current bill before the California State Assembly (AB2349) that would prevent a counselor, psychiatrist, pastor, etc. from even listening much less trying to help a person who had what is called "gender dysphoria"; who become psychologically depressed, distraught, confused about the sex change. Books that address this situation would be banned for sale. I don't quite know how California is going to stop Amazon from selling them however. This bill isn't fair or kind or understanding for the person who decides that they are now not sure they are or are not the biological sex they were born to. Who are they going to talk to? Where are they going to get help? Does this mean they have to go out of state to get the help they need? Again, we are talking about a tiny percentage that this bill is supposed to "help" but my question is what is the point of it?

Is the bill simply the State's heavy-handedness to say what counselors we may see or what books we can read? Some have said the bill would ban the Bible but I hope that is just hysterical hype. California has some serious problems that its government needs to address that has nothing to do with sex! Our water, our raging forest fires that happen more and more frequently, floods, crime, gangs, etc. Why is our state spending time on something that is so trivial and affects so few individuals?

I am calling our State Assembly to table the bill and take care of issues that affect all of us!

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Really fed up!

I haven't posted in this blog for a long time. There is so much going on that I didn't know where or what to post about. I plan to change that as of now. My post title is "Really Fed Up" and this is what I am fed about it: the constant negativity from the main-stream media and liberals. Talk about sore losers!! Geesh!

I was not happy at all when Obama was elected and then re-elected but I didn't lie about him, say mean, hateful things about him publicly. What I did was pray for the man. My standard of reference is the Holy Bible and in 1 Timothy 2:2, Paul admonishes us to pray for those in authority over us so that we may "lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence." My prayer for Obama and all those that lead in government is that they all come to know Jesus Christ as his/her personal Savior; that they would have godly wisdom when it comes to handling sensitive issues.

What good does it do to continue to stir up hatred? I don't get it. Why can't we have a discussion of our differences of opinion without filthy, foul name-calling? That is not a discussion. Because I support President Trump, I have been called a racist, a white supremacist, a Nazi, a homophobe, a xenophobe, and other names I won't call out here because it's foul language. How can we have a rational discussion when name-calling is the only response to a thoughtful question? We can't.

What happened to public debate that didn't include taking aim at a person's core values, or attacking a person's character? The biggest thing is that these attacks don't solve anything. When we behave like this, we are only part of the problem and certainly not part of the solution.

Kindness, compassion and thoughtful debate are what others hear. Oh, sure, we hear the name-calling but all that does is cause defensive mechanisms. We lose sight of the core issues and nothing gets solved. I encourage our leaders, starting with President Trump to stop name-calling, character assassination and telling lies. Someone has to start acting like adults!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Victim of an "ism"

You know, I am really getting tired of everything being called "racist". Yesterday was the final straw for me when I read that some teacher decided that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist. Why? Because some children don't eat (or have it at home) bread but rather pitas, tortillas, etc. So those poor children are feel left out, she says. Come on!

When I was growing up in the 50's and 60's, there was not a single ethnic group that didn't have an ugly name. For example, Italians were "spics", Asians (didn't really matter where they were from) were "slant eyes", Polish folks were "Pollacks" (probably spelled wrong) and so on. My ethnic background is Scottish, Irish and Jewish. If you are a history buff at all, you would know that centuries ago, England tried to completely wipe out the Scots particularly the Highlanders who were considered savages. They almost managed to do it too if not for the pure stubbornness and pride of the Scots. Then there was the ongoing battle for Ireland. I don't recall what the Irish were called when they came to America but it wasn't kind; it was offensive. And we all know that for the last 5000 (not sure of that exact number) years, antisemitism has flourished to this very day. The Russians were called "ruskies" (spelled wrong I think), the Chinese "chinks", and on and on.

No, none of this was nice and I am not defending it. I remember as a high school senior, I wore and Star of David necklace that my great-grandmother had given me. She was orthodox Jewish, had a kosher kitchen and took her religion very seriously. Her son, my great-uncle, married a Roman Catholic but to honor his mother, he would serve a Sabbath dinner on Friday night once in a while. I really had no idea of the significance of the necklace until one of my teachers asked me, "You're not Jewish, are you?" It was like "you're not carrying the plague, are you?" I was so taken aback and ticked off that I said yes I was. That was a lie but I was angry.

That year when we lived in an old Polish neighborhood, we received hate mail because my brother was going to preschool at a Jewish Community Center. I am telling you this because I do know what it's like to be at the end of a slur or, as I call it, an "ism". My mother told me to ignore it. All the adults in my family told me that it didn't matter what others said about me, it was what I thought of myself that mattered.

I don't and have never liked humor at the expense of someone else. Making fun of anyone is not funny to me. My kids know that and say that I am "sensitive". I think it is unkind and if a person can't think of something funny to say that isn't at the expense of someone else, then that person isn't funny. But, this business of being offended at anything and everything is only causing division now. When someone would tease me or make a joke about me, it was my own insecurity and my own lack of worth that would make it personal to me. No one, and I mean no one, MADE me cry or made me angry or made me "offended". I CHOSE to react that way.

As I have said in this blog several times, being offended is a choice one makes. I wouldn't purposely hurt anyone's feelings but I have still said and done things that were hurtful. I don't assume when I walk out my door that because of my heritage, my religion or the color of my skin that "people" are going to offend me because of it. Yes, I am white and I am also tired of hearing about my white privilege and that it is in my DNA to be racist. That is a lie. The way I understood all that prejudice I saw when I lived in the South (Jim Crow days) and the subtle slurs and prejudice I saw in the North, those people were insecure about themselves, had a poor self esteem and could only feel better about themselves by putting others down, particularly those who "talked funny" (their words), who had darker skin than they did or who had different customs than theirs.

Still, being offended is a choice you make. Truly, I don't think most people "hate" any one group more than another. Our food choices, our clothing choices, our job choices, etc. are not statements of racism - it is just who we are. If you eat something I would never eat, that is your prerogative. I am not going to tell you that you can't eat it nor should you force me to eat something I don't like, right?

The point here is that we have all been subject to some type of prejudice. How we react to it is what we own. Eleanor Roosevelt said something very wise once. She said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." She was right. Rather than feeling offended, I am going to choose not to be. I am not going to let others run my emotions and, being offended is an emotion and it is a choice you make. Let us look for ways to be united, to be friends, to be kind and caring neighbors rather than trying to decided that what others do or say is to offend us. I want to be the champion of my own feelings and I am the only one who can do that.

Enough of the division and "isms". Stop CHOOSING to be OFFENDED!!